


How to Ruin His Life in four Steps

by Osmosian



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-03
Updated: 2013-05-03
Packaged: 2017-12-10 07:10:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/783259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Osmosian/pseuds/Osmosian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This wasn’t just detention; this was ‘you’ve really messed up’ detention. This was ‘you left his face in a bloody pulp’ detention. This was ‘who knew he could get that angry’ detention.<br/>This was ‘Sirius how could you let him affect you’ detention."</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Ruin His Life in four Steps

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DVwrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DVwrites/gifts).



**Prologue**

This wasn’t just detention; this was ‘you’ve really messed up’ detention. This was ‘you left his face in a bloody pulp’ detention. This was ‘who knew he could get that angry’ detention.

This was ‘Sirius how could you let him affect you’ detention.           

McGonagall watched Sirius closely as he shifted in front of her. He’d seen the interior of her office before, of course, but always for minor crimes. He studied the outline of his knuckles in the flickering candlelight. They still carried a few flecks of his opponent’s blood, and maybe his own, since the flesh of his knuckles had torn in the attack. Although, attack implied that the other had fought back, and he hadn’t.

She stood, still watching him as if she were a mother cat deciding on whether or not to eat its own young. He prayed that she swallowed him up, entirely whole, so he wouldn’t have to leave and face… _him._ Guilt crept up like a freezing blanket. It smothered him, causing the air to thicken as he gasped for it. Was this…a panic attack? His hands gripped the edge of the desk in front of him as the vision swam before him. Of course, he’d seen his mother go into these fits before, foaming at the mouth at his actions, or feinting at the thought of her bloodline becoming anything but pure. 

Sirius took a moment to reflect, as McGonagall had previously suggested, and took a moment to calm himself. And the shaking that he experienced. Maybe it was his fault, maybe this never should have started. But when had it started? Three months ago? Maybe even longer.

**Step 1**

“Hey, Remus, let’s see if you can get this in your mouth. If I throw it!” Remus smiled softly, before making a show of shaking his head, as if he were irritated at Sirius’ actions. He wasn’t, of course, and Sirius knew this far too well, and it promoted him to continue being annoying. Occasionally he would throw the jelly beans in Remus’ direction, and occasionally Remus would catch them, when he was sure that it was his favourite flavour, which was marshmallow.

Sometimes he would let them drop, and instead James –forever the seeker- would make a move on the sweet. Much to all of their enjoyments, apart from James, Remus had somehow managed to develop the skill of being able to tell the good flavours from the bad flavours, and James would spend the remainder of the afternoon picking dirt and other disgusting flavours out of his teeth. Remus suggested that he should brush them, but James, after pulling an oddly comedic venomous face, concluded that “brushing my teeth would just ruin the five week streak of not brushing them.” Even Wormtail, ever nervous, would dare laugh along with them.

The summer days were the best. The days when it was simple enough to get Remus, or some other smart person to do his homework, and they could relax together. Of course Remus would hardly relax. His head would always be pushed so far into a book that his face was almost never seen.

Although perhaps that wasn’t always true.

On a particular occasion, while James was busy ill in bed, and Peter, who had to always copy him, was right beside his bedside, coughing up a fur ball from ‘cleaning’ himself too often, and Remus and Sirius had that part of Hogwarts grounds to themselves. It was silent, as it mostly was when James wasn’t there. Sirius’ thoughts played along the fact that in two weeks, when the school year was over, he’d have to return home. He wondered if his mother had redecorated his room again, and if he’d have to spend the week changing it to exactly how he liked it. The answer was probably, and he’d have to rework the magical lock on his door. Maybe he should ask Remus for an enchantment.

This thought, of course, prompted him to turn towards the other, who was looking back at him. Startled, Sirius swallowed- intent upon taking a moment before speaking, although Remus began first.

“You know, I never thanked you guys.” Sirius lifted a brow, humour replacing the startled expression that had been toying along the edges of his mouth.

“Thank us for…what exactly?”  
“Well…” Here Remus paused, tugging his knees to his chest. He contemplated how the sun bounced along the horizon, as if it couldn’t decide upon resting or not. “I mean, I don’t know, but I understand how hard it would have been for you guys to become animagi. It must have been really painful and you just didn’t have to.”

Sirius laughed, leaning forward so that he was closer to the other. “What, do you really think we’d let you have all of the fun gallivanting all over the forbidden forest. It takes a lot for you to break the rules in the first place, so we definitely want to be there when you do it. And besides, scratching with a tree-” He took a moment to sigh, as if regressing on fond memories. “The best feeling you could ever experience.”

A small smile, which was often the closet Remus came to a laugh, curved on Remus’ lips as he nodded. “I suppose you’re right. You guys just…” His hand lifted, pressing it to Sirius’ shoulder. “You guys mean a lot to me.”

Or at least, that’s what Sirius supposed he said. It was difficult to make out the words, when all he could concentrate on the hand that clasped his shoulder. What was the feeling that caused the blood to rush beneath his ears, or the one that made his head ten times heavier on his shoulders? Maybe he was coming down with what James was ill from.

Maybe it was hormones. Sirius smiled, shrugging off Remus’ hand as if he wasn’t overthinking the gesture. “Just get back to my homework, Remus.”

**Step 2**

Sirius blinked the sleep from his eyes, leaning back in the library chair. He lifted the sleeve of his robe, checking the time. Thirty minutes past midnight, curfew had been in place for the last hour. He was lucky enough to have the sort of face that librarians trust to stay in the library over curfew.

He shrugged the robe off, slumping back in the chair before lifting the book and bringing it with him. A low sigh hung from his mouth, although he cut it off mid-way at the sound of shuffling along the cobbled floor. McGonagall! The sneaky teacher was probably trying to see which students were out of bed. Luckily he’d been able to grab James’ invisibility cloak that his father had given him last Christmas, and had stashed it in his backpack.

Lifting the aforementioned carrier, he routed around in it, smiling as his fingers found the silken fabric that rendered everything invisible. With much grunting, he was able to tug it away from whatever was holding it in place; probably random debris from his very first year in Hogwarts, since he very rarely cleared it out. He shoved the cloak over his shoulders just as the shoes came to a stall beside his table.

Sirius’ head was turned towards the ground, since he was just a little too tall for the cloak, and had to hunch so that the entirety of his body was happily covered. However, upon studying the shoes, which were brown and worn down, and hardly like any McGonagall would wear at all, he stood slightly, to watch the figure toying with the books on the shelves.

“Remus!” Two things happened at Sirius’ cry. One, the invisibility cloak fell to the floor in an invisible bundle, and two the books Remus was holding fell with a thud. Both Sirius and Remus cringed, waiting for the inevitable yell of an adult that had noticed that they were out of bed. After a minute of silence, they breathed out, and both of their pulses had stilled.

“What are you doing here?” Remus hissed, finally stooping to lift the books that had scattered over the floor. Sirius was surprised to see that they were fiction books, rather than the usual study guides that Remus was almost addicted to. Sirius shrugged, yawning.

“Well, you may think I’m a natural genius but that’s just not true.” He waved the book on transfiguration in Remus’ direction.

“You’re _studying?_ ” Remus pressed a book to his mouth, covering the laugh that threatened. “Forgive me if I sound incredulous. Don’t you just get people to do your assignments?”

“Well, yeah.” Sirius sat up in the chair, indicating for the other to sit in the chair next to him. “But I can’t get people to take my N.E.W.T.S, and I need to pass them, don’t I?” Sitting, Remus studied the other, who sat only inches away from him. “But,” Sirius continued, indicating the book clutched in Remus’ hands. “Why’re you sneaking down here just to read some teenage romance novel.”

Remus looked as if he was going to protest, although he could tell by Sirius’ knowing gaze that he’d already read the book. “Oh, I felt like something different, I suppose.” He shrugged, attempting to hide how his cheeks highlighted with red in embarrassment. Placing the book on the table, no longer needing to hide the title of ‘The werewolf and his Enchantress’, he shifted almost uncomfortably, before continuing. “I couldn’t really sleep, and my work is finished.”

“Finished? Is it ever really finished? I feel like I’ve been here a month.”

“Do you ever wonder what it’d be like?” Sirius looked up in surprise, worried by the seemingly nonsensical question.

“What…what’d be like?”

“I mean, being in a relationship? I know you flirt with girls, but you’re never serious with them or anything like that.”

“You wonder what it’d be like to be in a relationship?” He chuckled softly, lifting an quizzical eyebrow. “It’d be boring, I reckon. Being with the same girl day after day, telling her how much you care about her. Just the thought makes me feel sick.”

“Right.” Remus bowed his head, although Sirius saw the hint of a frown decorating his brow. “Of course.”

“Hey, what’s up?” Sirius gripped the other’s chin, tugging it upwards to enable him to read his expression better.

“Well, it feels stupid talking about this thing. But I’ve always secretly,” he nervously chewed on his lower lip. “I’ve always secretly wanted to feel what it’d be like to be in a relationship.”

“Well then,” Sirius dropped his hand, once again leaning back in the chair. “Why don’t you?”

“Yes, I’m sure that that’d work. ‘Hey honey, how’s your day and why do you smell like blood. Also where are your clothes and why is there fur in your teeth’.”

They both laughed, or Remus chuckled at his own expense while Sirius imagined the scene playing out in front of him, and grinned. Oddly, Remus noted how sharp his teeth seemed to be, although perhaps that was him getting confused with the animal version of his friend.

“It’s a shame you can’t date anybody in the marauders.” Remus almost choked on his thoughts as Sirius spoke, eyes widening.  
“What…?”  
“I mean, wouldn’t that be easier? We know, we’re cool with it; we can deal with you when you change. What could be a better relationship?” Sirius turned his head, surprised to find Remus’ head turned towards him too.

The intense look Remus harboured seemed to be a mix of curiosity and something that Sirius’ couldn’t interpret. In fact, he was so busy attempting to interpret this look, that he didn’t notice Remus getting closer until he was millimetres away. A single wisp of air was pressed between them, until Remus closed the remainder of the distance, and his mouth pressed against Sirius’.

Of course, at first Sirius didn’t move at all, but when the thought of ‘I’m kissing Remus’ played through his mind, he was surprised to find himself well…not repulsed. In fact, he found that he was a willing receiver of the kiss.

No: participant.

In just a fraction of a second, he found himself kissing back, his chest tight at the movement of each of their mouths. He was enthralled, or perhaps that was too dramatic. His thoughts sounded as if they belonged to the book on the table.

**Step 3**

“Shush, be quiet!” Remus tapped Sirius on the leg, which was stretched out against him in the single bed that they were sharing. He rolled his eyes as Sirius’ lips and teeth caught his neck, feeling the vibration as Sirius growled against him. “Sirius, I mean it. You’ll wake James.” Throwing a worried look at the bed opposite, his frowning face fell back to Sirius’ gaze.

“No, you’ll wake James by yelling at me to stay silent.” Sirius stuck his tongue out, until he moved to continue pressing his hot breath against the other’s tender flesh. Remus writhed, biting his lips to stop the small murmur falling from his mouth, formed from the stomach acid churning in his abdomen.

“We shouldn’t even be doing this her-…” Remus was cut off by Sirius’ mouth covering his own. Almost instantly his eyes closed, the thought of stopping becoming a distant memory.

Of course, that was until the feint whisper of ‘lumos’ tugged them apart. They lifted their heads- and bodies so that they were seated- to look into the almost dazed eyes of James. All three were silent, until the two lovers heaved a sigh when James grinned, sitting at the end of the bed.   

“You guys are dating?” Something like excitement laced James’ tone, as if he was personally invested in his friends’ love lives. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well for one,” Remus was the first to fall out of the vow of silence that he and Sirius had apparently taken. “We’re nothing official. Well, I suppose we are, but not, ‘screaming for the world to hear’ official. And for two…” He grit his teeth, breathing in as if the next words were difficult for him to say.

“You can’t keep your fat mouth shut.” Sirius happily finished off Remus’ point, taking pleasure of the way that James made a show of making his expression drop.

“Hey, I completely resent that!”  
“No you don’t, James, you know it’s completely true. I’m willing to bet that this’ll make its way around school.”

James shook his head, the smile lifting the corners of his mouth once again. “I wouldn’t do that.” He crossed his wrists, so that the others could each take a hand. They too crossed their wrists, each one of the three holding the hands of the two other’s in a sort of triangular handshake. “We’re brothers-in-fur, remember?”

“Brothers-in-fur.” Both Remus and Sirius repeated this, smiling at their friend.

**Step 4**

Sirius rubbed the back of his head, which still stung from where McGonagall had slapped him, in her attempt to keep his feet off the table of the Great Hall. He began to idly gnaw at a meatless chicken bone, the meat having been devoured by him previously, picking out the meat trapped in his teeth with the thin parts of bone. Remus threw him a disgusted look from his place across from him, bus Sirius simply shrugged it off, throwing a discreet wink.

It was strange how James wasn’t there, but, of course, thoughts along usually summon the devil. Or something like that. James shuffled into the Great Hall, biting his lower lip in much the same way that Sirius was gnawing the bone. He took the seat beside Sirius, although that was usually reserved for whatever debris Sirius found in between his teeth, or the many left overs of the many plates that he had stolen from other people.

James tugged on Sirius’ sleeve, trying to draw his attention away from the bone. “Uhh, Sirius, we need to talk or something.”

“Talk then.” Finally tiring of his bone, which was already half eaten, he turned towards a large pile of cookies that some girl had cooked for him. Honestly, it was a wonder that he wasn’t fat, with his ferocious appetite.

“I mean in private, it’s private. Really private.”

Sirius threw a questioning look at James, before his attention was drawn towards the screech of owls from above. “Maybe later, okay. Post is here.”

The usual murmur of people opening letters and packages was broken by somebody shouting the word ‘howler’. Of course, Sirius had expected it to fall in his plate of cookies, and it didn’t disappoint him. “Ah,” He said, loud enough for those on the Gryffindor table to hear. “It’s my weekly love note from mother.” His friends chuckled, although James looked queasy for some odd reason. From the Slytherin table he could see Snivellus watching him closely. It registered as strange, perhaps momentarily, although he considered that maybe it was just jealousy. Sivellus’ parents didn’t even care about him enough to send howlers.

Sirius quickly opened the red envelope, and smiled as his mother’s voice filtered into his ears. “You are absolutely filthy. What do you expect will happen to this family!? Are you attempting to ruin us. You carry on with…with _that._ ” Sirius’ ears prickled at the hysterical note to his mother’s voice. This wasn’t the usual ‘we hate you, how dare you not be a Slytherin’ rant. “That beast! How dare you date him? What’s the creature’s name? Remus Lupin?” A murmuring began along the hall. Sirius, whose heart palpitated in horror, shared a worried glance with Remus. “Think of our image, Sirius! Think of your family. No, don’t call it your family. You are nothing to us! I am removing you from the family tapestry. Do not bother coming home. Go home with and get assaulted by that…that _werewolf_ for all I care!”

The murmuring came to abrupt halt, although it felt as if a thousand eyes were directed towards them. Vaguely, through the pulsing anger and worry that plagued him, Sirius noted that Remus had quietly packed up his work, and had left the Great Hall. However, this was something that Sirius only caught when reflecting back on the moment. At that time he only saw one thing; the grinning face of Severus Snape.

Of course, if he could have made himself calmer, if he could have ignored Severus’ taunts, he would have been able to laugh it off. Something like ‘Remus, a werewolf? The kid couldn’t hurt a fly’. He wouldn’t have even had to deny the relationship, since magicked people were often more carefree about that sort of thing than muggles, although he only remembered briefly reading this somewhere.

This is all reflecting, of course. Because at that time, Sirius had somehow made it across the Great Hall, although he could never remember how, and hand one hand pinning Severus down by his throat, while the other worked on creating a new picture of his greasy face, and enjoying watching the blood outline his curled fist, a mixture of his own and the blood pouring from a probably broken nose. If it were possible, Sirius would have said something about making him even uglier, but words didn’t work. It was strange, but he didn’t once consider his mother, or her words, or the prospect of having to leave home. He considered the school, he considered Remus and the horrible lies everybody would be saying about him.

Eventually, Hagrid was able to push his way past the wall of encouraging students and drag the shaking Sirius off the bloodied mess.

**Epilogue**

“We, of course, will not kick you out of the school.” Had she always been talking like that? He couldn’t remember hearing her speak even once. “We understand that your reaction, no matter how wrong, was based off a strong emotion.”

“Remus.” She seemed surprised, and, after all, she probably should be, since it was the only time he had spoken since the incident.  
“What? I didn’t catch that.”  
“What about Remus? Will you…expel him?” Her expression softened into a small smile, before she shook her head.  
“Of course not. No matter what his affliction, Mr Lupin is a valued student. We wouldn’t kick him out just because a few students make a rather loud noise.”

“Thank you, Professor.” Sirius stood, grabbing his back with his good hand.  
“Mr Black, where do you think you’re going? There are incident reports that need to be filled out, we must discuss your punishment, and other things.”

“Can’t it wait Professor?” He turned his pleading gaze towards her, sighing. “I really need to talk to Remus.”

McGonagall looked as if she wished to say more. However, she eventually conceded and nodded. “Perhaps it would be best if you were to talk to…-“ Sirius was gone even before she had finished the sentence. A heavy sigh parted her mouth as she smiled, taking a seat. “Oh, to be young and in love, I suppose.”

The common room was surprisingly empty when Sirius finally got there; he had made sure to change out of his blood stained shirt, and to rub the blood off of his hands first. Perhaps the others were giving Remus alone time, in case he should turn into a human devouring beast. And it was his fault that they thought of him like that. Sirius winced.

Remus was relaxed with his knees up on the chair, a position that he was usually in when he was studying. However, other than idly glancing over the books that were laid out in front of him, he didn’t appear to be doing much studying.

“Uhh, hey Remus.” Sirius was taken by complete surprise when Remus sat up from the chair, and launched himself across the room to embrace him. In fact, it took him a moment to unfreeze himself and hug back.

The hug lasted for a while, although after a moment Remus bulled back, only to hold him by the shoulders, as if he didn’t want to fully let him go. “Thank Goodness, I really thought that they’d kick you out. I mean… when I heard about what you did to Severus.”

“Yeah.” Guilt clouded Sirus’ expression, biting his lip. “I really shouldn’t have flipped like that. I should have made fun of the letter, laughed at the prospect of you being a werewolf. I didn’t think...I wasn’t thinking.”

“Your Mother _had_ just told you not to bother being a part of the family. I think that’s a good excuse.”  
“No, it isn’t. I don’t care about that.” Sirius placed his hands on Remus’ hips, lowering his head to rest on the dip between Remus’ shoulder and neck. “Mum does that every other week. I just…couldn’t stand everybody knowing about you. Hurting you. I just…Damn, I’m ridiculously sorry. I’m an idiot.”

“No.” Remus laughed softly, pressing his lips against Sirius’ jawline, which was the only flesh that he could find from their position. “Besides, it’s not your fault.”

“You really think that?”

“Yeah, of course I do. It was James’ fault.”

Both of them laughed, their lips tugging into shared smiles. Hooking his arms around Sirius’ shoulders, he tugged him closer, his own lips tracing the outline of his. 


End file.
